Welcome to Our Adventure!

Well, the cat is officially out of the bag.  We couldn't hold it in any longer, and it was time to share.  We figured since we had officially been accepted, there was no time like the present!

A huge thank you to my sister for making this photo happen.  I had jumble of ideas for announcements, and she just saw through my madness and put this together.  She even took the picture for us!

I'm sure a lot of you who are just joining us have a lot of questions. If you go back to one of my first posts, there is a little Q&A, though i'm going to answer a few more.  I love getting to talk about this adoption.  We are so excited to start our family, and the more we get to talk about it, the more real it feels.

Here are just a few basic questions, that I would be asking if I were you:

Why international adoption?

When we first starting considering adoption, we put everything out and decided what fit best with our family.  We are very lucky to have the means to adopt internationally. No, we don't have tons of money, but we do have very supportive jobs that are willing to give us the time off needed for the lengthy amount of time you need to be gone in international adoption. In addition, working for a major airlines has its perks.  We're lucky that part of my benefit package includes positive space travel for all adoption needs.

Why Hungary?

We kind of did the same thing as above.  Once we had settled on international, we looked at all the countries, and found out we didn't even qualify for most of them.  You'd be surprised how picky they can be! For example, we weren't eligible for China, because i'm under 30, most other Asian and South American countries wouldn't accept us because Cory takes anti-depressants, I didn't personally agree with some of the ethics of adoption from Ukraine, and Uganda has wait times of over 4 years.  There are so many other countries out there, that i'm not even mentioning! Eventually we had it narrowed down to India, Poland, and Hungary.  We knew we wanted a younger child, and we knew we wanted a child with "corrective or minor disabilities."  This was a big factor in narrowing it down to these countries.  In the end, we turned to prayer and endless research.  We learned most children adopted from Hungary are of Romani Descent.  If you aren't familiar with the Romani people or the struggles, I highly suggest looking it up.  This did play a factor in our decision.  Another one of the big factors was that the country requires an extended bonding period.  You are required to spend at least 30 days with the custody of your child, until the adoption can be finalized.  We loved the idea of getting an entire month of nothing but bonding and learning about each other.  Most families never get an uninterrupted opportunity like that!

Baby or Child? Boy or Girl?

Adopting internationally means the opportunity to have a baby isn't realistic.  The Hague Convention, put in place by the united nations in 2014 greatly regulated the way adoptions are run around the world.  It's a great program that helps to fight child trafficking and unethical adoptions.  Because of this, for a child to be adopted internationally, all reasonable resources must be taken to have the child adopted in country. Children under one year are never eligible, and children under 24 months are rare.  We are open to any child, or sibling groups under the age of 4. As for as gender, we have no preference as long as they get to become ours. Though from Hungary, over 85% of the adoptions are of boys. 

How long will it take? 

We really have no idea how long it'll take, but for now our guess is around a year.  We are announcing it early, because we need all the love and support we can get.  We're still in the beginning, and it's been full of highs and lows.  We love getting to include our friends and family in the planning and everyday of the adoption process.  Plus, if our little blog helps even one person trying to make the same decisions some day, it has been a success. 

What comes next?

Our current tasks are to finish up on our home study, and getting our dossier prepared to be sent to Hungary for translation. In the mean time, we will be doing tons of fundraising and applying for grants. (The total cost of international adoptions is around $40,000, which sadly we don't have) If anyone has great fundraiser ideas, feel free to let us know!  Once our dossier is submitted and accepted, its between a 2-24+ month waiting period for a referral. Since we are both young and have no other children, we're hoping our referral period will be no more than a year.  Once we have a referral, and we have accepted it, we have about a month until we travel.  from there we will spend just under 2 months in Hungary, and then we head back home.  Once we step into the U.S. as a family of 3 (or maybe even 4) our entire family will be U.S. Citizens. 

If you every have any questions about our adoption process, what we've struggled with, and what led us to our decisions, feel free to drop them in the comments or sent them to us privately.  Like I said, we love to talk about it and want you all included in our story.  Just like the old saying, says "It takes a village!" 

Questions No One Has Asked, But I Bet You're Curious.

This is currently an unknown blog, and i'm selfishly using it more for myself than for anyone else. However, if you stumbled on this despite my terrible tags, Welcome! If we know you and still found this, nothing is official and there is nothing newsworthy to share. If there were, you'd know about it! However, i'm hoping one day this blog may be of use to someone, or to at least myself.
Here are a handful of questions no one has actually asked, but I bet they're curious about:

Why are you doing this if you aren't ready to share it?

I've been knee deep in reading adoption blogs lately.  It's something we're very much considering, and I love reading other peoples journeys.  Every single blog you read starts with people putting in their papers for adoption.  What I want to know is what lead them to it. The trial and rewards that come with making such huge life changing decisions.  Did people decide to do it because of infertility, or because they felt it was right? How did they pick the country? Was it hard to actually press the "go" button?  All of these questions that we're currently working through.  You know the saying, "misery loves company?" Well in this case the confused love to know that others are confused too. I'm hoping one day, if someone else is in the same spot and they are into excessively googling like me, this little blog could be helpful to them.  We aren't currently shouting it from the rooftops, because things AREN'T official.  We don't know what way we're going, and we don't want to get anyone's hopes up.

What are your Infertility Problems?

Oh, so you want to jump strait into things? wait, i'm the one asking these questions. 

We don't really know what the problem is.  We went two years of "not trying, but not stopping," a year of "lets get down to business," followed by a confused doctor, a full hysteroscopy d&c, and the conclusion "lets put you on birth control for a year to see if it balances your system out."  We've now been scientifically trying for almost another year, and still nothing.  I do have Celiac Disease, which according to Celiac.org it is:

Celiac disease is a serious autoimmune disorder that can occur in genetically predisposed people where the ingestion of gluten leads to damage in the small intestine. It is estimated to affect 1 in 100 people worldwide. Two and one-half million Americans are undiagnosed and are at risk for long-term health complications.

I was diagnosed at 18, and because of this spent most of my life unable to gain nutrition from food, and severely malnourished. at the time of my diagnosis, I was 5'10" and under 105 lbs.  Essentially my doctor has said that when you don't get the proper nutrition, especially when going through maturity, your reproductive system often doesn't form properly.  Although you can seem completely healthy on test after test, your body just doesn't work right.

Why adoption before exhausting all your infertility resources?

Well, first things first, infertility care is expensive. My insurance will cover nothing until i'm at least 35.  If we do peruse the adoption route, we are in no way giving up on having biological children.  There seems to be this stigma that going to adoption means the end of trying.  For us, that's not the case.  We are ready to be parents and welcome a child into our home.  Infertility care can takes years and years before it even works. We'd rather move that timeline up, and help a child in need in the process. 

In addition Cory had a unique growing up experience. He spend a lot of time at friends houses, and thanks to a lot of loving families, even lived with them for a good part of his teenage and young adult years. From the time we started dating, he would warn me, "one day I know we'll take someone else's child into our home." We always just assumed this meant a friend of one of our biological children, but as we've been on this life journey, we're starting to feel like this means through the miracle of adoption.

Why international adoption? Are American children not good enough for you?

We love America most of the time! However, the adoption game in the U.S. has become a bit of a rat race. Profiles, Videos, list of likes and dislikes, education requirements, and in the end its a social media contest.  I think it's great the parents have the ability to be so selective in the process, but because of that the prettiest, the riches, the most educated, and the ones with videos where they sing and dance are often picked first. I don't know if you've ever heard me sing, but it's not pretty.  The average wait for a domestic adoption, if you pursue with an agency, is over 4 years.  We'd like to start our family a little sooner than that. We love the idea of international adoption though. I can't even really explain why. Have you ever done something that just feels right? This is one of those things. Sure, it is still a long and tiring process. It's full of waiting and paperwork, and its expensive! However, at this time, its the direction we're leaning.

See, we love America.  All that's missing is apple pie!

What about the foster system?

The foster system is a great route for a lot of people.  There are so many kids in need, and so many that could benefit from a good family.  We live in the state of Arizona, were the foster system is notoriously bad. As a foster parent, you're entire goal is to reunite children with their biological parents.  That means if a parent decides to visit once a year, the child is strung along in the foster system until they age out.  I hate to say it, but I don't feel strong enough to play the games of the system. I couldn't handle the heartbreak. Overall, we decided it wouldn't be the best option for our family. 

You just adopted a kitten, was this to fill your childless void?

Yes, and he's adorable. Next Question.

Arthas "The Lich King" Gifford

What countries are you looking at for adoption?

Currently we are looking into Poland and Hungary.  However, the countries have already changed 3 dozen times since we started looking, so don't expect us to be married to these. We've landed on these two countries because the wait times are shorter, (around 12-24 months) and the children can be as young as 2. In addition, on Cory's mission to East Germany (Poland's neighbor) he fell in love with the eastern European people.  I think he secretly just wants to flex those Germanic language skills. 

As young as 2?! You don't want a real baby?

As much as we'd love an infant, we're alright with skipping the expensive baby stage this time.  Yes, I know, all children are expensive. That doesn't mean I mind skipping all the baby swings and bottles. 

Why haven't you started the process yet?

Well, it's a huge commitment.  Not only are you bringing a new life into your home, you also have to consider the health issues an adoptive child can bring with them.  Many children adopted from outside the country aren't classified as "healthy." Many of these countries have little to no prenatal care. Disabilities can be mild and correctable such as a learning disability or needed surgery that isn't available in their country, to something bigger such as fetal alcohol syndrome or Down Syndrome. We want to make sure we are 100% equipped to face anything that can be thrown at us. Plus, Cory is currently back in school and its taking a huge chunk of his time! Oh, and lets not forget the average cost is $30,000 to $40,000 dollars. 

$30k-$40k? Are you secretly Mr. Monopoly stashing away a ton of money?

Sadly, I am not. Though sometimes I spend it like I am.  There are a lot of options out there to help get the money.  If we do decide to go this route, there are grants, fundraisers, and a tax credits. Don't forget, there is always the option of donations from friends and family (wink wink). 

These are just a few of the questions that I have been bracing myself to answer.  If you have any other questions, or have been through the process yourself and have any tips or tricks, feel free to leave them in the comments or get in touch with me. I'm always willing to talk about it. I feel like my life is revolving around googling adoption agencies and reading blogs. I'm in too deep. Send Help.