Application Received!

Got one of the best text messages ever earlier this week:

USCIS has received our application!! They also managed to mark it as received in only 1 week instead of of the estimated 2 weeks.  Next we wait for our letter with our biometric fingerprint appointments. That usually takes 4 weeks from this point to make it to us.  Then a few weeks following to actually attend the appointment. Maybe we can keep this trend of being a week ahead.

They're all such small steps, but i'm learning to celebrate every single little one.  Please make the next 4-6 weeks breeze by, and please let our referral for a child come quickly after!

Fedex is my new best friend!

I can't explain it, but for some reason 2018 has been the fasted, and the slowest moving year ever.  February was the longest month of my life, followed by march that I think was only one week long.  We still still feel like we spend most of our days in flux.  Trying not to make too many permanent plans for later in the year and being cautious about getting our hopes up and setting time lines, and wanting to make every plan and buy everything that we could for our future family.

This past week, we finally got the news we have been waiting for.  The Pinal county courts have approved our home study! We have spent months waiting for that little stamp on a piece of paper from a judge.  No kidding, it's just a stamp that said "Juvenile courts." We've had a completed home study since January, but now we have a home study that we can actually do something with!  The state has approved us to be adoptive parent's.  Our chance of finding our family will now be put in the hands of the Department of Homeland Security, and the children ministry of Hungary.

On Wednesday we drove into Phoenix to meet with our social worker and pick up our official notarized copies. She told us that the courts actually kicked back our home study twice before they even reviewed it.  She has been so great to work with, and even she didn't understands why every government agency has been against us in getting this finished.  From there, the first thing we did was google "Fedex" and went strait to send copies to to our placement agency so they can send them to be translated, and another copy to USCIS with our I-800a application to get that approval.

In typical google fashion it took us to the most random Fedex ever.  It was actually attached to the airport.  You drove all thew ay around to the shipping side of the airport, and were convinced we were in the wrong place. we timidly walked in, expected to be yelled at by someone official (it shared the same building with boarder patrol, it seemed so official.) only to find the nicest lady ever, and a mostly normal looking Fedex store.  We got everything packaged up, used the Delta shipping discount, and they were both overnighted.  It was the perfect location, because it saved us the travel time from a normal Fedex store to the airport, meaning we were able o overnight for even cheaper! I've never been more excited to hold sealed envelopes.

Both of our packages have already been received.  All of our documents should be getting scanned and sent to Hungary today to be translated, and we're waiting USCIS to generate our fingerprint appointments (for the 3rd time).  We are realistically 6 weeks away from being able to accept a referral for our child or children! We know there is no guarantee of when one will come, but just knowing we're ready for it when the time is right is a huge relief!

One step forward, three steps back.

It's amazing to think that we are already a month into 2018.  It has been a whirlwind of a month in the Gifford home.  We started this year with the mantra of "everything happens for a reason" and have been determined to stick with it, even though my patience is thin.  

All in all, we've already had quite the year.  We started January off with a trip to see our family in Utah, which ended with a fundraiser at Pizza Pie Café in Layton.  We can not thank everyone enough for all the support you gave us that night!  As we walked into the building at 5:30pm, I told Cory how afraid I was the no one was going to show up.  As luck would have it, people had already beaten us there!  There were so many people who showed up that night, later in the week, or just reached out to us letting us know they wished they could be there. So many took time out of their busy lives to come see us and tell us you're behind us. People we hadn't seen in years took the time out of their day, and it means so much to us. 

We sadly didn't remember to take picture till the end of the night, so this doesn't even represent 1/4 of the people that were there! 

The following week we were able to do a fundraiser at our local Someburro's here in Queen Creek, AZ.  As worried as I was about the Utah fundraiser, this one I was sure no one would attend.  We're still new here and feel like we know no one.  Once again I was amazed at the friends, family, and co-workers that showed up just to show us their support.  Just as the other one, people we hadn't seen in years were there to have a burrito and help us start our family.

Between the two fundraisers, we were able to raise enough to cover the last part we needed of our next set of fees.  I know I've said thank you a million times, but truly, thank you. We appreciate and need your support more than I think anyone who hasn't done this can understand. This has been a harder and lonelier process than we every could have imagined.  Our lives are in the hands of unseen faces.  We're waiting for people we've never met to decide if we're fit parents, to decided if we're worthy, and just take the time to put a stamp on a piece of paper.

We were told we would have a finished home study by the end of November, and here we are, February 12th with still no home study.  We finally were told it was finished in mid January, only to find out we were missing a few documents.  Since I had paid taxes in California in 2010 (My one semester doing the Disney College Program) and Georgia taxes in 2014 (2 months living in an airport Marriott for Delta training) we have to go back and submit child abuse clearances for those two states.  Each of those can take up to 6 weeks.  From there, we still need our national immigration clearance which takes between 4-8 weeks, but an average of six.  Our hope of being all finished with our adoption by the end of this year seems further and further away.  It has been heartbreaking.

Everyday we just remind ourselves "everything happens for a reason."  We are still so far away from meeting our financial goals, and currently don't even have enough money to finish the adoption.  As painful as each day without change is, it gives us more time to save and prepare for the child or children coming into our home.  We often feel out of control and in a life that just refuses to move with us.  What a test of patience this is becoming, and I feel like we haven't even gotten to the hard parts.  Some day's I feel like The Little Engine that Could; "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.... not lose my patents and beat up government agencies." At least I think that's how the story goes, I'm just paraphrasing here.

Reasons to Celebrate

 August 30th, is always a special day in our house.  It's this hansom man's birthday!

32 never looked so good!

Usually, I like to have birthdays be big events; Cake, tons of food, going out all day, and just an all day party! Well, poor Cory this year had more of a low key birthday.  We had super fallen behind on our adoption paperwork. After we got back from Berlin, we went strait back to work. On my 2 days off for the rest of the month, we found out my grandmother was sick and I ended up in Southern Louisiana on my only days off.  Because of all of this, Cory's birthday was spent running around getting our last minute paperwork done.  We started at the doctors office getting physicals, followed by state finger printing, and rounded it out with our FBI fingerprinting.

We were just finishing up with our final (for now) round of finger printing, and I was bragging to person doing the fingerprint that we were FINALLY done with our home study paperwork.  I was so excited, it was so much work, and I was done! Just as we were paying, and getting ready to head out, we both received emails at the same time. We opened it, and were in for a nice surprise.

We are official!  We have been accepted into our agency's Hungary program, and we are 1/4 of the way through our home study.  The best part about it though? We now have even more paperwork to do! Silly me for being excited that the first round was done.  Though, the real exciting part about this round of paperwork, is it is a lot of stuff that will get set directly to Hungary with our Dossier.  Every day this gets more and more real.

when we woke up the morning of the 30th, I told Cory 32 will be the best year yet.  After getting to celebrate both him and our adoption on the same day, I think it's safe to say i'm going to be right. Be on the lookout for an official announcement soon!

The Best News Comes From Disneyland

“To all who come to this happy place: Welcome. Disneyland is your land. Here, age relives fond memories of the past, and here youth may savor the challenge and promise of the future. Disneyland is dedicated to the ideals, the dreams, and the hard facts that have created America, with the hope that it will be a source of joy and inspiration to all the world.”

Alright, you get it. We love Disneyland.  I'm sure you're ready to get back on track. This is an adoption blog for heavens sake! I promise, this is all going somewhere. 

Since we established that so much of our story started at Disneyland, let me add that so many big things happened in our life there. From getting good or bad news, to life events, Disneyland for us is more than just thrills, turkey legs, and long lines. 

Here are a few of the snapshot of our Disneyland memories:

March 20, 2010. Cory proposes in front of sleeping beauties castles.  He asks me "if you could wish for one thing, what would it be?" I of course respond with "a cat" right before he gets down on one knee.  Lets just say I got something better than a cat (and later still ended up with 3 of them).  We then call our families to tell them the news while waiting in line for The Matterhorn.

May 02, 2011.  While walking around in the park, we hear the news that Osama Bin Landen was killed.  I know, a weird thing to put here, but it's one of those things we'll always remember. 

February 2013.  Not only do I survive life with a dark brown pixie cut, I get to celebrate getting my dream job as a flight attendant with Skywest Airlines.  I fly home early for training, and my hair eventually grew. 

January 2014.  Just one year later, while we are walking to the park from our hotel, I get a phone call from Delta Air Lines recruiting that I've been selected to do a face to face interview with them. Moving to a mainline airline would mean better pay, international trips, and more flexibility in my chosen career.  I again have to cut the trip short a day and go home before everyone else.  I land the job, and get the career of a lifetime. 

August 2015.  We attendant our first D23 expo, and are in the room when Bob Iger announces that Disneyland and Disney World are getting Star Wars Lands.  I can't even describe the electricity of being in the room when something big like that is announced.  We are huge Star Wars fans, and are still counting down the days till 2019 when it opens. 

July 17, 2017. While riding Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout, I feel my phone buzz. Minutes before this picture was taken I read the email stating that despite our small issues, Hungary will accept us as adoption prospects!

Yeah, you read that right. We finally have a little more progress into our adoption! We had been waiting to hear back from Hungary about adopting while on anti-depressants and they did not seem to want to get back to us. We had been patiently waiting for a response for almost a week, and when I finally got an email, I thought we would finally have some progress. Turns out all the email told us was that they were forwarding our question to the ministry of children, to really ensure it wasn't an issue.  We were told it'd be at least another week until we heard back from there.  This was the one thing standing between us, and finally starting this processes that could take us years. We had been told to expect it to take a weekend to hear from Hungary, and patience isn't something Gifford's are known for.  Lucky for us, this past weekend was the D23 Expo 2017.  

I LOVE going to D23. It's a crazy, exhausting, exciting, and informative weekend of all things Disney. Disney holds it every 2 years at the Anaheim Convention Center, and it's where they announce all of their new movies, TV shows, video games, theme park changes, and just about everything else.  There are signings, and panels with Disney Legends. It's pretty much a Disney fans dream come true.  We were able to do so much fun stuff, and above all we are able to see a lot of our friends that we don't get to see very often since we moved.  Sure, we had to wake up at 3am to wait in line to be in the standby for the live action panel that didn't start till 10:30am, but we're some of the only people in the world to have seen scenes from Avengers: Infinity War. All in all, the convention proved to be a great distraction. It was the first time in almost a month that I wasn't refreshing my email like a madwomen. It was exactly what I needed. 

On Monday after the convention, we decided to go to Disneyland for a half a day before driving home.  The first thing we did was run over to California Adventures to ride the new ride, Mission Breakout - The ride formally known as Tower of Terror.  I absolutely love the ride.  We had already ridden it our first day, and needed to do it again. Just as Tower of Terror was, the ride is a complete dead zone for cell coverage.  I wasn't expecting an answer till later in the week, so I wasn't worried.  As we were on the ride, catapulting to our doom, I felt my phone buzz.  I didn't think much of it, and so I didn't even bother to check it.  After going through the gift shop, (I'm a gift shop addict. It's not a problem, I could quit if I wanted to!) we went outside and I found the guy with the sign celebrating Disneyland's Birthday.  I chased him down, and when I pulled out my phone, I saw one sentence in an email that will change our life forever. “according to their (the ministry's) reply the family can apply to Hungary”.

Now that we know we can adopt, it's time for more waiting! I know that was the first of many hurdles to jump over, but it was the one we were facing to even get to the starting line. We have an appointment scheduled on the 26th with a home study group, and hopefully we can start that process soon.  Once our home study is done, we can submit our Dossier to Hungary to await a match for a referral for a child! 

The House That Was Never Built.

It's been almost a year since Cory and I moved to Arizona.  It has been a fun and exciting year. We've had our ups, and our downs. We miss our friends and family back in Utah so badly it hurts some days. However, I wouldn't trade our move for anything in the world.  It's allowed us to grow closer as a couple and be able to more clearly see what we want for our future.  Do you want to know my favorite part though? We get to live just down the road from my sister Angela, her family, and my parents!  My sister and i have always been close, despite there being a 15 year age gap.  Her husband was in the military for the majority of their marriage, and because of that, I very rarely got to see them, or their six kids.  Now getting to live close to them is one of the best things in my life. They're a huge support, and some of our biggest cheerleaders!

Here are some of our adventures so far:

                                        

              This little family of mine, I'm going to let them shine!

When we first moved here, we decided we wanted to live close, but not too close (my parents and sister live in the same circle!). We also knew, if we moved a little farther down the main road, it'd put us about 15 minutes closer to Cory's work.  So, we went about 15 minutes away and bought this perfect one story home.  3 bedrooms, 2 baths, perfect for our hopefully future family.  We were ecstatic.  We had just sold our old home in Utah. When i say old, I mean literally. We put our heart and souls into fixing up that house. It was bittersweet leaving it because we knew it wasn't the house we were meant to stay in forever but so much of our blood, sweat, and tears were in it. 

The happiness of know there was nothing to fix right away!

Now, what most of you don't know, is as much as we love our home, we wished we would have been closer to my family.  A few months ago they opened some new construction lots just across from my parents circle.  Angela and I look at just about every home in the area, it's like a hobby. So it was no surprise when we went in and looked at these.  What was a surprising is some how Cory ended up in there with me the next day, with a contract on a home and me enrolled in real estate school!  We went through and had every upgrade we'd ever want put it. We were excited, my family was excited, I think Bert was even excited!

Flash forward a couple of weeks. The new home had been trenched, I had only one last test to get my real estate license, and we were pre-planning our furniture layouts and decorations.  We're sitting in Olive Garden, enjoying a free meal thanks to a gift card, and Cory says "I think we should start looking into adoption."  Little did he know Angela and I had already been researching adoption for a few weeks.  Everything from domestic, to foster care, to adoptions from Bulgaria and China. We spent the meal in our booth discussing the information I'd found, and realizing it was actually realistic at some time in the future.  Just a few days after the "Olive Garden meal that will go down in history."  We get an email form the lender of our new home.  To our surprise, thanks to my 6th grade math level and a rise in interest rates, we were spending about $300 a month more than we were planning to.  We were shocked, and starting finding a way to afford it.  Yet, one of the first thoughts we both had was "Well, if you don't move, that's 6 months sooner we could start the adoption process."  We let it sit for a while, seeing if there was a way we could have our cake and eat it too. In the end, we had decided the $500+ we would be spending extra a month would be better spend on our future family. For now, we'll stay 15 minutes away from my family, and an extra 15 minutes farther away from target.  I'm still working through which one is sadder.

Watch out, i'm about to get a little spiritual on you. 

Cory has always been a huge believer in, "if it's meant to happen, it'll happen."  I've always struggled with this a little more. I'm more of a doer.  However, in this case, I think that's exactly what it was.  I think there were reasons we jumped the gun on a new house.  Yes, we will lose our $500 of earnest money, but in the grand scope of things, that doesn't seem like too much.  What it did give us, is my second career.  When we started talking about adoption, the biggest problem was the cost.  We're hoping I can find a good broker, and become a real estate agent while balancing my flight attendant career.  If I can manage it, 100% of the funds made from real estate can go towards our adoption.  I truly believe going into there, going to school, and the timing was all part of gods plan.  It was always a small comfort when talking about adoption that he was a chance of back up funds from real estate. Even though I'm not quite to having my license, just know there is a chance of the extra income is so comforting. I still can't explain it, but for one of the first time in our lives, it feel like we're on the right track. Like we're moving in the right direction.  Maybe the reason we haven't been able to have kids on our own is because we already have kids out in the world, we just don't know yet that they're supposed to be part of our family. All we need to do is find him/her or them to make our family complete. 

Oh, and if you know anyone needing to buy or sell a home in Arizona, I'm your girl!

And that's the story about how we almost bought a new house!

Questions No One Has Asked, But I Bet You're Curious.

This is currently an unknown blog, and i'm selfishly using it more for myself than for anyone else. However, if you stumbled on this despite my terrible tags, Welcome! If we know you and still found this, nothing is official and there is nothing newsworthy to share. If there were, you'd know about it! However, i'm hoping one day this blog may be of use to someone, or to at least myself.
Here are a handful of questions no one has actually asked, but I bet they're curious about:

Why are you doing this if you aren't ready to share it?

I've been knee deep in reading adoption blogs lately.  It's something we're very much considering, and I love reading other peoples journeys.  Every single blog you read starts with people putting in their papers for adoption.  What I want to know is what lead them to it. The trial and rewards that come with making such huge life changing decisions.  Did people decide to do it because of infertility, or because they felt it was right? How did they pick the country? Was it hard to actually press the "go" button?  All of these questions that we're currently working through.  You know the saying, "misery loves company?" Well in this case the confused love to know that others are confused too. I'm hoping one day, if someone else is in the same spot and they are into excessively googling like me, this little blog could be helpful to them.  We aren't currently shouting it from the rooftops, because things AREN'T official.  We don't know what way we're going, and we don't want to get anyone's hopes up.

What are your Infertility Problems?

Oh, so you want to jump strait into things? wait, i'm the one asking these questions. 

We don't really know what the problem is.  We went two years of "not trying, but not stopping," a year of "lets get down to business," followed by a confused doctor, a full hysteroscopy d&c, and the conclusion "lets put you on birth control for a year to see if it balances your system out."  We've now been scientifically trying for almost another year, and still nothing.  I do have Celiac Disease, which according to Celiac.org it is:

Celiac disease is a serious autoimmune disorder that can occur in genetically predisposed people where the ingestion of gluten leads to damage in the small intestine. It is estimated to affect 1 in 100 people worldwide. Two and one-half million Americans are undiagnosed and are at risk for long-term health complications.

I was diagnosed at 18, and because of this spent most of my life unable to gain nutrition from food, and severely malnourished. at the time of my diagnosis, I was 5'10" and under 105 lbs.  Essentially my doctor has said that when you don't get the proper nutrition, especially when going through maturity, your reproductive system often doesn't form properly.  Although you can seem completely healthy on test after test, your body just doesn't work right.

Why adoption before exhausting all your infertility resources?

Well, first things first, infertility care is expensive. My insurance will cover nothing until i'm at least 35.  If we do peruse the adoption route, we are in no way giving up on having biological children.  There seems to be this stigma that going to adoption means the end of trying.  For us, that's not the case.  We are ready to be parents and welcome a child into our home.  Infertility care can takes years and years before it even works. We'd rather move that timeline up, and help a child in need in the process. 

In addition Cory had a unique growing up experience. He spend a lot of time at friends houses, and thanks to a lot of loving families, even lived with them for a good part of his teenage and young adult years. From the time we started dating, he would warn me, "one day I know we'll take someone else's child into our home." We always just assumed this meant a friend of one of our biological children, but as we've been on this life journey, we're starting to feel like this means through the miracle of adoption.

Why international adoption? Are American children not good enough for you?

We love America most of the time! However, the adoption game in the U.S. has become a bit of a rat race. Profiles, Videos, list of likes and dislikes, education requirements, and in the end its a social media contest.  I think it's great the parents have the ability to be so selective in the process, but because of that the prettiest, the riches, the most educated, and the ones with videos where they sing and dance are often picked first. I don't know if you've ever heard me sing, but it's not pretty.  The average wait for a domestic adoption, if you pursue with an agency, is over 4 years.  We'd like to start our family a little sooner than that. We love the idea of international adoption though. I can't even really explain why. Have you ever done something that just feels right? This is one of those things. Sure, it is still a long and tiring process. It's full of waiting and paperwork, and its expensive! However, at this time, its the direction we're leaning.

See, we love America.  All that's missing is apple pie!

What about the foster system?

The foster system is a great route for a lot of people.  There are so many kids in need, and so many that could benefit from a good family.  We live in the state of Arizona, were the foster system is notoriously bad. As a foster parent, you're entire goal is to reunite children with their biological parents.  That means if a parent decides to visit once a year, the child is strung along in the foster system until they age out.  I hate to say it, but I don't feel strong enough to play the games of the system. I couldn't handle the heartbreak. Overall, we decided it wouldn't be the best option for our family. 

You just adopted a kitten, was this to fill your childless void?

Yes, and he's adorable. Next Question.

Arthas "The Lich King" Gifford

What countries are you looking at for adoption?

Currently we are looking into Poland and Hungary.  However, the countries have already changed 3 dozen times since we started looking, so don't expect us to be married to these. We've landed on these two countries because the wait times are shorter, (around 12-24 months) and the children can be as young as 2. In addition, on Cory's mission to East Germany (Poland's neighbor) he fell in love with the eastern European people.  I think he secretly just wants to flex those Germanic language skills. 

As young as 2?! You don't want a real baby?

As much as we'd love an infant, we're alright with skipping the expensive baby stage this time.  Yes, I know, all children are expensive. That doesn't mean I mind skipping all the baby swings and bottles. 

Why haven't you started the process yet?

Well, it's a huge commitment.  Not only are you bringing a new life into your home, you also have to consider the health issues an adoptive child can bring with them.  Many children adopted from outside the country aren't classified as "healthy." Many of these countries have little to no prenatal care. Disabilities can be mild and correctable such as a learning disability or needed surgery that isn't available in their country, to something bigger such as fetal alcohol syndrome or Down Syndrome. We want to make sure we are 100% equipped to face anything that can be thrown at us. Plus, Cory is currently back in school and its taking a huge chunk of his time! Oh, and lets not forget the average cost is $30,000 to $40,000 dollars. 

$30k-$40k? Are you secretly Mr. Monopoly stashing away a ton of money?

Sadly, I am not. Though sometimes I spend it like I am.  There are a lot of options out there to help get the money.  If we do decide to go this route, there are grants, fundraisers, and a tax credits. Don't forget, there is always the option of donations from friends and family (wink wink). 

These are just a few of the questions that I have been bracing myself to answer.  If you have any other questions, or have been through the process yourself and have any tips or tricks, feel free to leave them in the comments or get in touch with me. I'm always willing to talk about it. I feel like my life is revolving around googling adoption agencies and reading blogs. I'm in too deep. Send Help. 

Meet the Giff's!

This is our journey to "fill the middle seat," metaphorically and literally! Our story of starting a family. All the trials, setbacks, and endless paperwork that may come from it.  You may ask, why is this titled "Filling the Middle Seat?"  Well, travel is a huge part of our lives. Not only do we love to do it, but as a flight attendant for a major airline, traveling is literally my job! We are tired of arguing over who gets to sit in the middle when we go on our adventures. The best solution, add someone young and impressionable to persuade into the middle seat!

A little about us:

Coordinating shirts and Disneyland in the spring. Two of my favorite things!

I'm Leah, and this is my husband Cory. Together we are the Giff's!  We're both from Utah, but are currently living in middle of nowhere Arizona.  We are Disneyland Annual Passholders, comic book enthusiast, video game addicts, board game connoisseurs, and Harry Potter experts. We're what people would usually refer to as "Nerds".

Our pilgrimage to the Wizard World of Harry Potter. 

We're currently a family of 6. Myself and Cory, as well as our dog Bert and our 3 cats: Chloe, Bandit, and Arthas.  As much as we love our pets, we'd love for our family to grow by one more. Preferably one with less fur, and the ability to walk on two legs!

The infamous Bert the Flirt.  

You may ask, why start a blog about starting a family? People do it everyday, what makes you special!?  In truth, nothing makes us special.  We've struggles with the same thing that millions of people before us have.  We've been married for 7 years, and a few years ago decided time was creeping up on us, and we should consider the future. Through periods of trying, then not trying, then trying, then test, and procedures, we were smacked in the face with infertility.  We haven't exercised all our possible infertility options, but with little insurance support, and lots of praying, we have been looking into the process of adoption. This is our story. Start to finish, beginning to end. No promises of an outcome, and no decisions made. Follow along if your ready for a road of indecisiveness and way more than you needed to know!