The Best News Comes From Disneyland

“To all who come to this happy place: Welcome. Disneyland is your land. Here, age relives fond memories of the past, and here youth may savor the challenge and promise of the future. Disneyland is dedicated to the ideals, the dreams, and the hard facts that have created America, with the hope that it will be a source of joy and inspiration to all the world.”

Alright, you get it. We love Disneyland.  I'm sure you're ready to get back on track. This is an adoption blog for heavens sake! I promise, this is all going somewhere. 

Since we established that so much of our story started at Disneyland, let me add that so many big things happened in our life there. From getting good or bad news, to life events, Disneyland for us is more than just thrills, turkey legs, and long lines. 

Here are a few of the snapshot of our Disneyland memories:

March 20, 2010. Cory proposes in front of sleeping beauties castles.  He asks me "if you could wish for one thing, what would it be?" I of course respond with "a cat" right before he gets down on one knee.  Lets just say I got something better than a cat (and later still ended up with 3 of them).  We then call our families to tell them the news while waiting in line for The Matterhorn.

May 02, 2011.  While walking around in the park, we hear the news that Osama Bin Landen was killed.  I know, a weird thing to put here, but it's one of those things we'll always remember. 

February 2013.  Not only do I survive life with a dark brown pixie cut, I get to celebrate getting my dream job as a flight attendant with Skywest Airlines.  I fly home early for training, and my hair eventually grew. 

January 2014.  Just one year later, while we are walking to the park from our hotel, I get a phone call from Delta Air Lines recruiting that I've been selected to do a face to face interview with them. Moving to a mainline airline would mean better pay, international trips, and more flexibility in my chosen career.  I again have to cut the trip short a day and go home before everyone else.  I land the job, and get the career of a lifetime. 

August 2015.  We attendant our first D23 expo, and are in the room when Bob Iger announces that Disneyland and Disney World are getting Star Wars Lands.  I can't even describe the electricity of being in the room when something big like that is announced.  We are huge Star Wars fans, and are still counting down the days till 2019 when it opens. 

July 17, 2017. While riding Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout, I feel my phone buzz. Minutes before this picture was taken I read the email stating that despite our small issues, Hungary will accept us as adoption prospects!

Yeah, you read that right. We finally have a little more progress into our adoption! We had been waiting to hear back from Hungary about adopting while on anti-depressants and they did not seem to want to get back to us. We had been patiently waiting for a response for almost a week, and when I finally got an email, I thought we would finally have some progress. Turns out all the email told us was that they were forwarding our question to the ministry of children, to really ensure it wasn't an issue.  We were told it'd be at least another week until we heard back from there.  This was the one thing standing between us, and finally starting this processes that could take us years. We had been told to expect it to take a weekend to hear from Hungary, and patience isn't something Gifford's are known for.  Lucky for us, this past weekend was the D23 Expo 2017.  

I LOVE going to D23. It's a crazy, exhausting, exciting, and informative weekend of all things Disney. Disney holds it every 2 years at the Anaheim Convention Center, and it's where they announce all of their new movies, TV shows, video games, theme park changes, and just about everything else.  There are signings, and panels with Disney Legends. It's pretty much a Disney fans dream come true.  We were able to do so much fun stuff, and above all we are able to see a lot of our friends that we don't get to see very often since we moved.  Sure, we had to wake up at 3am to wait in line to be in the standby for the live action panel that didn't start till 10:30am, but we're some of the only people in the world to have seen scenes from Avengers: Infinity War. All in all, the convention proved to be a great distraction. It was the first time in almost a month that I wasn't refreshing my email like a madwomen. It was exactly what I needed. 

On Monday after the convention, we decided to go to Disneyland for a half a day before driving home.  The first thing we did was run over to California Adventures to ride the new ride, Mission Breakout - The ride formally known as Tower of Terror.  I absolutely love the ride.  We had already ridden it our first day, and needed to do it again. Just as Tower of Terror was, the ride is a complete dead zone for cell coverage.  I wasn't expecting an answer till later in the week, so I wasn't worried.  As we were on the ride, catapulting to our doom, I felt my phone buzz.  I didn't think much of it, and so I didn't even bother to check it.  After going through the gift shop, (I'm a gift shop addict. It's not a problem, I could quit if I wanted to!) we went outside and I found the guy with the sign celebrating Disneyland's Birthday.  I chased him down, and when I pulled out my phone, I saw one sentence in an email that will change our life forever. “according to their (the ministry's) reply the family can apply to Hungary”.

Now that we know we can adopt, it's time for more waiting! I know that was the first of many hurdles to jump over, but it was the one we were facing to even get to the starting line. We have an appointment scheduled on the 26th with a home study group, and hopefully we can start that process soon.  Once our home study is done, we can submit our Dossier to Hungary to await a match for a referral for a child! 

From Utah to Disneyland - Our History

As anyone who knows us should know, Disneyland is a huge part of our story.  When I met Cory I was a college freshman, working on my degree in dance education, and mostly failing out of college.  My roommate and best friend has started dating an awesome guy (they're now married), and he set me up with his co-worker. One afternoon over Thanksgiving break, I received a text from an unknown number.  All this message said was "Hey, this is Cody's friend Cory.  Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?" Being the smart alack I am, I of course responded with a perfectly googled measurement of what a polar bears weighs in both pounds and kilograms. Turns out all he wanted to say was, "enough to break the ice!"

We went on our first date the next evening.  If was a night of Kermit the Frog impressions, bonding over our same love of music, our love of Disney and Marvel Comics, and a whole lot of giggling on my part.  We had gone to Temple Square to look at the lights, and were so caught up in everything, he even forgot to feed me dinner.  We ended up staying up till 1am, just talking on the couch in my parents basement.  He scandalously kissed me at the end of our first date, and the rest is history.

                  

Everything was near perfect.  He was kind, hilarious, and had a sweet car. (Honda Elements, always a lady killer.)  There was only one little problem. The summer prior my older brother and his wife had taken me to Disneyland.  I fell in love.  It was the costumes, the music, the food, and the magic.  I felt at home.  I spent my entire first semester in college focused on doing well enough to get into The Disney College Program.  Lucky for me, I was working for Radio Disney at the time as a dancer doing live events and promotions.  It gave me a good reference, and less than a month before meeting Cory I had been accepted into the program.  I was overjoyed, excited, yet still heartbroken to leave this awesome guy that I had fallen in love with in such a short time. We had just over a month before I packed up my Chevy Aveo with my sick collection of pop-punk CD's and headed to Anaheim.  We spend that month practically inseparable, but the time still came to leave.


My college program experience was a unique one.  As I look back on it now, it was some of the best times of my life.  However, if you were to have met me then, you might have thought I hated everything about it. The hours were long, it was my first time living more than an hour away from where I grew up, my roommate could only fall asleep while listing to the score or book on tape for Lord of the Rings, and I was incredibly sick. (I was diagnosed with Celiac disease during my program, which is why it was cut short.) Despite all of that, it was still an amazing experience.  I made awesome friends, went to Disneyland almost every day, and ate too many Churro's to count. If you asked me today if I'd do it all over again, I would automatically give you a big yes!

Working at World of Disney meant awesome tapestry vest, and Deny's trips
 at 3am after the park was asleep for the night.

One of the best parts of working for a Disney park, is the free sign ins for your friends and family.  You're essentially given a certain number of free park tickets every year.  Because of this, Cory was able to come and visit a few times.  Despite us both being huge Disney fans before we ever met, I think our relationship starting with Disney definitely helped add to the craziness. So if you're reading this and think, "these people are insane, why are all their pictures from Disneyland?" You can thank a couple of nerdy college kids, and the Disney College Program.

Brace yourself, another Disneyland post is coming.  

The Penguin and the Soccer Ball

I never thought I would dread the weekend. I love the weekend, even though i'm usually working.  Weekends are for garage sales, parties, and flash sales at the Kate Spade outlet.  Well, since we started into this adoption process. I hate the weekend.  Why would I hate something so innocent and pure? What did it ever do to you? Well, I'll tell you what's wrong with them, they give people an excuse not to go to work.  Sure, that's a little selfish, but i don't get progress emails when people don't work.

We have big news though.  We've decided on a country.  As long as everything in the next few days goes as planned, we will be...

We had our first real conversation with an adoption agency on Friday.  It was nerve racking, exciting, informative, and terrifying all at one time.  They were so sweet, and did an amazing job at answering all of our questions.  No one ever tells you about this part of the adoption process. When you're ready to go, but it's just not quite time. That point where you and your partner are ready to roll right into the process, and some nice lady on the phone runs up and kicks the ball out from under you.

Exhibit A: we're the first penguin and the nice phone lady is the second. 

We only have one little thing stopping us from a bright green light.  As many people who are close to us know, about a year ago Cory was places on Antidepressants by his general care doctor.  Sadly, depression and other mental health issues are stigmatized even more in other countries then they are in the U.S.  Countries such as Taiwan and Poland will not even look at an applicant with any sort of mental health issue.  However, the person we spoke to from the agency was very honest and helpful when it came to our family and adopting.  She made sure she knew it was not a no go item. Before she had even called us, she had already sent two emails out to contacts in Hungary to see if this will be an issue for us.  Before we can get any official paperwork filed with an agency, we have to wait to hear from Hungary on Monday.  We're hoping and praying that we get nothing but good news.

Lucky for me, she must have known i'm an obsessive researcher.  She made sure to give me something to google till my finger bled before hanging up the phone.  Just in case, she suggested we check into both The Republic of Georgia and India as possible other countries if we don't get the news or the referral times we want from Hungary. We also need to do the pre-application, and fill out the hardest part of all of this, the special needs consideration checklist.  It's literally a list of birth defects and childhood disease.  We had to go through each an every one, and decide what we are capable of handing.  At first, it was hard to do without filling guilty.  Researching these things and realizing there are real children with these real conditions out in the world was heartbreaking.  For every disease we didn't select, it was hard not to feel like you were keeping a child from having a home because of something they were born with.  In the end we had realize that we have to work within or means, no matter how much we feel for these children.  Taking on something way out of our capability range wouldn't be fair to us or the child.  Despite it being hard, I am so glad the agency asked us to do it.  It's a big reality check that you will probably adopt a child that isn't healthy or completely perfect.  It also helped us to realize what we were and weren't capable of. They say if something is easy, it's not as worth it.  I'm hoping this is one of those things!

What was the point of this post you may ask? Well, it was to let you know that nothing has happens, but also that so much has happened! We have an actual email about us sitting in someones inbox in Hungary.  The little things have become such joy!  We will also be starting our home study soon.  I'm currently grilling a handful of them in Arizona to make sure they're a right fit.  As soon as we find one, we will have officially started the process!

 At this point I think it's safe to say we are all in with this adoption adventure.  We want a family, and we feel so strongly that this is the way our family is supposed to begin.  We're currently deciding on when we want to announce our plans, and it's a tough decision.  When you're pregnant, you know it's safest to wait till you're out of the first trimester to announce anything.  With adoption, there is no such rule as nothing is ever guaranteed.  When adopting a newborn from inside the US, it's customary to wait until you've been placed, or until the child is born.  Going internationally there are no such rules.  You essentially need everyone to know before hand.  You need a good support group to handle the paperwork, fundraising, and endless number of character referrals you need. For now, our plan is to wait until we've been official accepted by the agency. Though we'll see how long we last once our home study is started.  So I hope everyone is prepared to hear us ramble on about our adoption journey for the next year or so! Even though nothing is official, we're already having too much fun with it.  We've been throwing around names, walking through the Disney Store and quietly day dreaming, and trying to comprehend what we're getting ourselves into.  In about a year, we could be adding a toddler (or even two) to our family.  We can't wait, and I can't wait to finally tell everyone about it!

The House That Was Never Built.

It's been almost a year since Cory and I moved to Arizona.  It has been a fun and exciting year. We've had our ups, and our downs. We miss our friends and family back in Utah so badly it hurts some days. However, I wouldn't trade our move for anything in the world.  It's allowed us to grow closer as a couple and be able to more clearly see what we want for our future.  Do you want to know my favorite part though? We get to live just down the road from my sister Angela, her family, and my parents!  My sister and i have always been close, despite there being a 15 year age gap.  Her husband was in the military for the majority of their marriage, and because of that, I very rarely got to see them, or their six kids.  Now getting to live close to them is one of the best things in my life. They're a huge support, and some of our biggest cheerleaders!

Here are some of our adventures so far:

                                        

              This little family of mine, I'm going to let them shine!

When we first moved here, we decided we wanted to live close, but not too close (my parents and sister live in the same circle!). We also knew, if we moved a little farther down the main road, it'd put us about 15 minutes closer to Cory's work.  So, we went about 15 minutes away and bought this perfect one story home.  3 bedrooms, 2 baths, perfect for our hopefully future family.  We were ecstatic.  We had just sold our old home in Utah. When i say old, I mean literally. We put our heart and souls into fixing up that house. It was bittersweet leaving it because we knew it wasn't the house we were meant to stay in forever but so much of our blood, sweat, and tears were in it. 

The happiness of know there was nothing to fix right away!

Now, what most of you don't know, is as much as we love our home, we wished we would have been closer to my family.  A few months ago they opened some new construction lots just across from my parents circle.  Angela and I look at just about every home in the area, it's like a hobby. So it was no surprise when we went in and looked at these.  What was a surprising is some how Cory ended up in there with me the next day, with a contract on a home and me enrolled in real estate school!  We went through and had every upgrade we'd ever want put it. We were excited, my family was excited, I think Bert was even excited!

Flash forward a couple of weeks. The new home had been trenched, I had only one last test to get my real estate license, and we were pre-planning our furniture layouts and decorations.  We're sitting in Olive Garden, enjoying a free meal thanks to a gift card, and Cory says "I think we should start looking into adoption."  Little did he know Angela and I had already been researching adoption for a few weeks.  Everything from domestic, to foster care, to adoptions from Bulgaria and China. We spent the meal in our booth discussing the information I'd found, and realizing it was actually realistic at some time in the future.  Just a few days after the "Olive Garden meal that will go down in history."  We get an email form the lender of our new home.  To our surprise, thanks to my 6th grade math level and a rise in interest rates, we were spending about $300 a month more than we were planning to.  We were shocked, and starting finding a way to afford it.  Yet, one of the first thoughts we both had was "Well, if you don't move, that's 6 months sooner we could start the adoption process."  We let it sit for a while, seeing if there was a way we could have our cake and eat it too. In the end, we had decided the $500+ we would be spending extra a month would be better spend on our future family. For now, we'll stay 15 minutes away from my family, and an extra 15 minutes farther away from target.  I'm still working through which one is sadder.

Watch out, i'm about to get a little spiritual on you. 

Cory has always been a huge believer in, "if it's meant to happen, it'll happen."  I've always struggled with this a little more. I'm more of a doer.  However, in this case, I think that's exactly what it was.  I think there were reasons we jumped the gun on a new house.  Yes, we will lose our $500 of earnest money, but in the grand scope of things, that doesn't seem like too much.  What it did give us, is my second career.  When we started talking about adoption, the biggest problem was the cost.  We're hoping I can find a good broker, and become a real estate agent while balancing my flight attendant career.  If I can manage it, 100% of the funds made from real estate can go towards our adoption.  I truly believe going into there, going to school, and the timing was all part of gods plan.  It was always a small comfort when talking about adoption that he was a chance of back up funds from real estate. Even though I'm not quite to having my license, just know there is a chance of the extra income is so comforting. I still can't explain it, but for one of the first time in our lives, it feel like we're on the right track. Like we're moving in the right direction.  Maybe the reason we haven't been able to have kids on our own is because we already have kids out in the world, we just don't know yet that they're supposed to be part of our family. All we need to do is find him/her or them to make our family complete. 

Oh, and if you know anyone needing to buy or sell a home in Arizona, I'm your girl!

And that's the story about how we almost bought a new house!

Questions No One Has Asked, But I Bet You're Curious.

This is currently an unknown blog, and i'm selfishly using it more for myself than for anyone else. However, if you stumbled on this despite my terrible tags, Welcome! If we know you and still found this, nothing is official and there is nothing newsworthy to share. If there were, you'd know about it! However, i'm hoping one day this blog may be of use to someone, or to at least myself.
Here are a handful of questions no one has actually asked, but I bet they're curious about:

Why are you doing this if you aren't ready to share it?

I've been knee deep in reading adoption blogs lately.  It's something we're very much considering, and I love reading other peoples journeys.  Every single blog you read starts with people putting in their papers for adoption.  What I want to know is what lead them to it. The trial and rewards that come with making such huge life changing decisions.  Did people decide to do it because of infertility, or because they felt it was right? How did they pick the country? Was it hard to actually press the "go" button?  All of these questions that we're currently working through.  You know the saying, "misery loves company?" Well in this case the confused love to know that others are confused too. I'm hoping one day, if someone else is in the same spot and they are into excessively googling like me, this little blog could be helpful to them.  We aren't currently shouting it from the rooftops, because things AREN'T official.  We don't know what way we're going, and we don't want to get anyone's hopes up.

What are your Infertility Problems?

Oh, so you want to jump strait into things? wait, i'm the one asking these questions. 

We don't really know what the problem is.  We went two years of "not trying, but not stopping," a year of "lets get down to business," followed by a confused doctor, a full hysteroscopy d&c, and the conclusion "lets put you on birth control for a year to see if it balances your system out."  We've now been scientifically trying for almost another year, and still nothing.  I do have Celiac Disease, which according to Celiac.org it is:

Celiac disease is a serious autoimmune disorder that can occur in genetically predisposed people where the ingestion of gluten leads to damage in the small intestine. It is estimated to affect 1 in 100 people worldwide. Two and one-half million Americans are undiagnosed and are at risk for long-term health complications.

I was diagnosed at 18, and because of this spent most of my life unable to gain nutrition from food, and severely malnourished. at the time of my diagnosis, I was 5'10" and under 105 lbs.  Essentially my doctor has said that when you don't get the proper nutrition, especially when going through maturity, your reproductive system often doesn't form properly.  Although you can seem completely healthy on test after test, your body just doesn't work right.

Why adoption before exhausting all your infertility resources?

Well, first things first, infertility care is expensive. My insurance will cover nothing until i'm at least 35.  If we do peruse the adoption route, we are in no way giving up on having biological children.  There seems to be this stigma that going to adoption means the end of trying.  For us, that's not the case.  We are ready to be parents and welcome a child into our home.  Infertility care can takes years and years before it even works. We'd rather move that timeline up, and help a child in need in the process. 

In addition Cory had a unique growing up experience. He spend a lot of time at friends houses, and thanks to a lot of loving families, even lived with them for a good part of his teenage and young adult years. From the time we started dating, he would warn me, "one day I know we'll take someone else's child into our home." We always just assumed this meant a friend of one of our biological children, but as we've been on this life journey, we're starting to feel like this means through the miracle of adoption.

Why international adoption? Are American children not good enough for you?

We love America most of the time! However, the adoption game in the U.S. has become a bit of a rat race. Profiles, Videos, list of likes and dislikes, education requirements, and in the end its a social media contest.  I think it's great the parents have the ability to be so selective in the process, but because of that the prettiest, the riches, the most educated, and the ones with videos where they sing and dance are often picked first. I don't know if you've ever heard me sing, but it's not pretty.  The average wait for a domestic adoption, if you pursue with an agency, is over 4 years.  We'd like to start our family a little sooner than that. We love the idea of international adoption though. I can't even really explain why. Have you ever done something that just feels right? This is one of those things. Sure, it is still a long and tiring process. It's full of waiting and paperwork, and its expensive! However, at this time, its the direction we're leaning.

See, we love America.  All that's missing is apple pie!

What about the foster system?

The foster system is a great route for a lot of people.  There are so many kids in need, and so many that could benefit from a good family.  We live in the state of Arizona, were the foster system is notoriously bad. As a foster parent, you're entire goal is to reunite children with their biological parents.  That means if a parent decides to visit once a year, the child is strung along in the foster system until they age out.  I hate to say it, but I don't feel strong enough to play the games of the system. I couldn't handle the heartbreak. Overall, we decided it wouldn't be the best option for our family. 

You just adopted a kitten, was this to fill your childless void?

Yes, and he's adorable. Next Question.

Arthas "The Lich King" Gifford

What countries are you looking at for adoption?

Currently we are looking into Poland and Hungary.  However, the countries have already changed 3 dozen times since we started looking, so don't expect us to be married to these. We've landed on these two countries because the wait times are shorter, (around 12-24 months) and the children can be as young as 2. In addition, on Cory's mission to East Germany (Poland's neighbor) he fell in love with the eastern European people.  I think he secretly just wants to flex those Germanic language skills. 

As young as 2?! You don't want a real baby?

As much as we'd love an infant, we're alright with skipping the expensive baby stage this time.  Yes, I know, all children are expensive. That doesn't mean I mind skipping all the baby swings and bottles. 

Why haven't you started the process yet?

Well, it's a huge commitment.  Not only are you bringing a new life into your home, you also have to consider the health issues an adoptive child can bring with them.  Many children adopted from outside the country aren't classified as "healthy." Many of these countries have little to no prenatal care. Disabilities can be mild and correctable such as a learning disability or needed surgery that isn't available in their country, to something bigger such as fetal alcohol syndrome or Down Syndrome. We want to make sure we are 100% equipped to face anything that can be thrown at us. Plus, Cory is currently back in school and its taking a huge chunk of his time! Oh, and lets not forget the average cost is $30,000 to $40,000 dollars. 

$30k-$40k? Are you secretly Mr. Monopoly stashing away a ton of money?

Sadly, I am not. Though sometimes I spend it like I am.  There are a lot of options out there to help get the money.  If we do decide to go this route, there are grants, fundraisers, and a tax credits. Don't forget, there is always the option of donations from friends and family (wink wink). 

These are just a few of the questions that I have been bracing myself to answer.  If you have any other questions, or have been through the process yourself and have any tips or tricks, feel free to leave them in the comments or get in touch with me. I'm always willing to talk about it. I feel like my life is revolving around googling adoption agencies and reading blogs. I'm in too deep. Send Help. 

Meet the Giff's!

This is our journey to "fill the middle seat," metaphorically and literally! Our story of starting a family. All the trials, setbacks, and endless paperwork that may come from it.  You may ask, why is this titled "Filling the Middle Seat?"  Well, travel is a huge part of our lives. Not only do we love to do it, but as a flight attendant for a major airline, traveling is literally my job! We are tired of arguing over who gets to sit in the middle when we go on our adventures. The best solution, add someone young and impressionable to persuade into the middle seat!

A little about us:

Coordinating shirts and Disneyland in the spring. Two of my favorite things!

I'm Leah, and this is my husband Cory. Together we are the Giff's!  We're both from Utah, but are currently living in middle of nowhere Arizona.  We are Disneyland Annual Passholders, comic book enthusiast, video game addicts, board game connoisseurs, and Harry Potter experts. We're what people would usually refer to as "Nerds".

Our pilgrimage to the Wizard World of Harry Potter. 

We're currently a family of 6. Myself and Cory, as well as our dog Bert and our 3 cats: Chloe, Bandit, and Arthas.  As much as we love our pets, we'd love for our family to grow by one more. Preferably one with less fur, and the ability to walk on two legs!

The infamous Bert the Flirt.  

You may ask, why start a blog about starting a family? People do it everyday, what makes you special!?  In truth, nothing makes us special.  We've struggles with the same thing that millions of people before us have.  We've been married for 7 years, and a few years ago decided time was creeping up on us, and we should consider the future. Through periods of trying, then not trying, then trying, then test, and procedures, we were smacked in the face with infertility.  We haven't exercised all our possible infertility options, but with little insurance support, and lots of praying, we have been looking into the process of adoption. This is our story. Start to finish, beginning to end. No promises of an outcome, and no decisions made. Follow along if your ready for a road of indecisiveness and way more than you needed to know!